"Hole in the O-Zone Layer" is a headline for some bullshit ESPN hasn't gotten around to writing yet. Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) May 03, 2013
"You gonna eat that?" "Nah, probably just gonna fuck it." Dad humor gets raw. Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) May 03, 2013
People of all races holding hands and singing "Enter Sandman." Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) May 04, 2013
I don't believe in ghosts will that make them go away? Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) May 05, 2013
Who would win in a fight: rad or awesome? Show your work on graph paper with pencil sketches of weaponry and decapitations. Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) May 06, 2013
Self-esteem is the psychosis that you matter and deserve things. Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) May 06, 2013
Policeman under my car. "What are you doing officer?" He slides out and wipes the grease off his hands. We have sex. Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) May 06, 2013
ROLL CALL: Fluffy Bunny? (here) Chatterbox? (here) Lieutenant Snuggle? (here) Baxter Bear? (here) Kissypoo? Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) May 23, 2013
Kissypoo? Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) May 23, 2013
RT @donni: Follow this one weird Ja Rule for a flat stomach Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) May 24, 2013
It's casual Friday at work, so I fell asleep on the toilet. Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) May 24, 2013
"No good deed goes unpunished." -the homeless man giving me a noogie. Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) May 25, 2013
RT @briangaar: Robocop just going to town on a vacuum cleaner Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) May 25, 2013
Make sweet love to me and I will take with thee a nap. Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) May 10, 2013
The Yelp reviews are all over the map for this baby smuggler. Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) June 10, 2013
Gross, I care. Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) May 24, 2013
Which AT&T Uverse TV package allows me to illegally torrent whatever show I want? Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) June 09, 2013
If you want your car crash to have witnesses, have it in front of Franklin BBQ. Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) May 09, 2013
RT @BoobsRadley: Just drank a glass of wine like it'd been building sexual tension with me over the course of three seasons. Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) May 24, 2013
"After a certain age, the most charitable assumption you can make about young people is that they're all on drugs." -my neighbor Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) May 09, 2013
HEADS UP: My toddler daughter is going as Richard Simmons for Halloween. My wife's making me give the city time to pass a law against this. Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) May 23, 2013
Paul Bunyan vs. Godzilla. GODZILLA WINS! Cheap electric blanket vs. reusable grocery bag. BLANKET WINS! Blanket vs. Godzilla, tonight on TNT Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) May 23, 2013
Get outta my dreams, get into my car. Get outta my car, get into my apartment. Get outta my apartment, get into my dreams. Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) May 23, 2013
Middle school principal smoking weed with the frozen burger patty delivery driver. They don't talk about anything. It's a Thursday. Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) June 21, 2013
Do you like me? Check one. [ ] Yes. [ ] No. [ ] If you have something to share, you can share it with the whole class, Magyar. Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) June 09, 2013
