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Chris Magyar

Where There's a Will, There's an Herb


We're still committed to squeezing a baby out without any medicine, but that doesn't cover herbs. Today's "GET IT OUT OF ME" visit to the midwife yielded a massive herbal regimen. I don't know if these are going to work, have a placebo effect, or just get Veronica very stoned, but for your edification, here's a list of the ingredients in just ONE of the pills she's taking now:

  • Alfalfa
  • Lobelia
  • Black & Blue Cohosh
  • Spikenard Root
  • Spirolina
  • Thorny Pussywart
  • Goat's Cum
  • Acai Berry
  • Loganberry
  • Partridgeberry
  • Dave Matthews Berry
  • Gymnasium Sweat
  • Banana Leaf
  • Sycamore Dreams
  • Labia Majora Juice
  • Bacon Fat
  • Sodium Pentothol
  • Krokodil
  • Calfskin Leather
  • Corinthian Wheat Germ
  • Hops
  • Vaccine of Polio
  • Tangible Benefit Sauce
  • Silly Cobra Belly Mud
  • Flatulence
  • Hardened Snot Salts
  • Jungle Boogie
  • Jedi Dandruff
  • Eye of Newt
  • Cinnamon Spice
  • Sporty Spice
  • Everything Nice
  • High Fructose Corn Syrup


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