Advice for My Daughter

Be funny when you want attention, be poetic when you want agreement, and be quiet when you want authority. Don't mix these up.

People will try to make you negative. Find excuses to be positive.

Laugh when you feel scared. Cry when you feel love.

Never refuse a gift; never misspend free money.

Give gifts you cannot afford to everyone but yourself.

Learn math - people are easily impressed by someone who can do math.

Learn to read - it's hard to take advantage of someone who can really read.

Learn music - it's like knowing how to read and do math at the same time.

The world will always push fear; embrace the new and strange.

Don't let anybody, including us, tell you how to fall in, be in, or fall out of love.

In basketball, watch the dribbler's hips more than their eyes or the ball if you want to know where they're about to go. This also applies to knowing how to trust people. Trust actions over words. Intentions are usually physical, not verbal.

Regret is the wisdom that you shouldn't make that mistake again; don't make the mistake of dwelling on your regrets.

You can't be good at something you've never done. If you've done something once, you can do it a second time and better.

There is no such thing as perfect.

Have an aesthetic. Change it capriciously.

Put as much truth in your lies as you can; only tell a lie if you've imagined how it will feel to be caught in it.

As long is it's not physically dangerous, be willing to wear, say, or eat anything at least once.

Fighting is all about defense. Running away is a good defense. So is calling the cops.

Take care of your body, but don't forget that pleasure sometimes counts as taking care of your body.

When you don't know what you think, pick a side and say it out loud. Your stomach will decide things from there.

Don't travel to learn about yourself. Everywhere is someone's home. Honor their home. Travel to learn about them.

You will not understand everything; keep track of what you know you don't know.

Pay attention to scale. What works for one doesn't always work for many, and vice versa.

Never make fun of someone if you wouldn't tease them the same way to their face. This one is hard.

If you know someone is mistreating you, be extremely nice to them and give them zero percent of your heart.

Help when a friend needs to move. Help when a friend needs to eat.

Silence scares people. Use this to learn what you need to know.

Save your things. You'll miss yourself when you're older. You are your adult self's long-lost best friend.

Our love for you is so huge, it can contain disappointment and anger. When we are disappointed in you, or angry at you, those are expressions of our love. I know that doesn't make sense. We wouldn't have believed it either until we felt it. It's a huge love.

Whatever you are, and whatever you become, it's partially us in there. You're going to hate that sometimes, but it conquers death. You are our heaven. We go to you when we die.

Never believe in a God who doesn't believe in you.