"I'M A DAD AND I'LL KICK YOUR ASS IF YOU TRY TO DATE OR HAVE SEX WITH MY DAUGHTER" is a perversion of chivalry. Wanting to protect your family is noble, and somehow baked into the male psyche, so I understand the impulse. However, like any noble impulse,...
Most people are full of shit (present company included), so South By Southwest Interactive is a tiring exercise of waiting for a genuine idea or practical piece of information to drop. In between these gems, it's just noises dressed up to sound like music....
Right away, the combination of crunchy rhythm guitar and cymbal-heavy drumming signals that this isn't Kansas, Dorothy. We're square in the era of Cheese Rock, the mentally challenged cousin of the already mentally challenged Hair Metal phenomenon. This...
With CD sales tanking, what is the major labels’ plan? We’ve got to go to subscription. It’s the only model that works. Getting a little from a lot. Hell, people don’t have a problem with buying Netflix subscriptions now, even though so much is unavailable...
It seems like every blog is jumping on a recent announcement that Amazon now sells more ebooks than physical books. The Millions uses the A-word. McArdle welcomes our new e-book overlords. I don't see the big woo. All this does is highlight that Amazon.com...
For me, the argument that you could prevent another Virginia Tech with more guns is fatuous. Guns are designed for one thing only -- and the more of them there are, the greater the chance of someone getting hurt. Texas Senator Rodney Ellis issued a statement...
Incredible Williams is not an easy name to live up to. It is given to the son of a baseball player, or a politician's castoff whelp, or an impossibly hyped protagonist. But Incredible goes by Incredible anyway, even though his middle name is a perfectly...
Now that we've got the third-largest state by population on board, I suspect the gay marriage movement will accelerate. The remarkable thing about this victory, to me, is that it was achieved through lawmaking by duly elected representatives, instead...
I had an intense dream last night that was plotless and evocative. In it, I was hosting a party in a house, a pretty nice one with hardwood floors. I was wearing a sweater and khaki pants and socks, and I was walking around filling people's wine glasses....
It's only been a few hours, and I've already hit the stage where I can't believe #DADT ever existed. Explaining this will be like explaining that women couldn't vote, blacks couldn't use public water fountains, and Japanese-American families were put...
"Memo to suburban voucher opponents who 'support public education': you're already sending your kid to private school. You're just confused because your tuition fees came bundled with granite countertops and hardwood floors." via theatlantic.com Great...
I tend not to get too worked up when a new idea starts kicking around Washington DC, because most truly radical changes to the way our government runs start in the states. But this CNN article says a group of lawmakers (the article is vague on the size...
This NYT piece on an alternative to student loans just blows my mind. Instead of making student loans essentially great big unsecured debts to unemployed adults in which the government guarantees the lender (such a backward financial transaction it baffles...
Special thanks to this random zodiac site for providing the data for this extremely informative report. Gandhi = Libra "Libras are likely to be underachievers due to the easygoing attitude. This does not mean that they are necessarily lazy, they just...
Remember Randy Constan? He was one of the first Internet celebrities, and the most interesting person I came across when idly scanning the 10-year-old 2001 Webby Awards. (Maybe I'm slowly working on a decade retrospective of how the web has changed. Maybe...
My second grade teacher had a poster on the classroom wall of Bloom's Taxonomy, which is a heirarchy of mental functions that employs $7 SAT vocabulary words to explain the mastery of critical thinking skills. Why it was on the wall of a room for seven-year-olds,...
Yo, diary how’s it hanging? The prudent thing to do is to keep a curtain of silence — I picture it as velvet, and navy blue — around the working hours. Mentioning what happens at work, especially while naming names … hell, mentioning where you work at...
A writer should write with his eyes and a painter paint with his ears. Gertrude Stein "As a women, what body part do you use?" To love another person is to see the face of God. Victor Hugo "During a break-up, does one get to see God's ass?" Absence sharpens...
We got a portable record player as a wedding gift! (Thanks, Serial Box!) It plays up to six discs at a time. The best part is, this means we can listen to all the 45s we bought as coasters for the centerpieces at the reception. We picked the records based...
Today, I barely noticed the weather. Was it hot? Cool? Normal? Abnormal? I woke up at 5 a.m. to walk the anxious poodle, who was pacing the bedroom and panting. We stumbled around in the dark. I had no shoes or socks on. The pavement was rough, and bit...
When we were talking about our honeymoon plans for next year, my wife delightfully chose to rekindle a childhood dream of mine to drive around the perimeter of the continental United States. It started when I was a young boy mowing the lawn. My parents'...
More than anything, before I die, I’d like to create an idea that takes root and passes through society. I want to be a virus when I grow up. This isn’t as hard as it used to be, with a technology built seemingly for the sole purpose of spreading ideas...
Every day, all across the country, armed men and women in the employ of the federal government are groping our wives and children, fondling our testicles, and staring at naked pictures of us, all in a clear violation of the 4th Amendment. The right of...
I have a fantasy version of myself who lives in a parallel universe and accomplishes life much more efficiently than me. For instance, Fantasy Chris works out a lot, and has all his Christmas shopping finished before Thanksgiving. "But Fantasy Chris,...
Like most guys, I try to avoid crying. I don’t know why. I cried all the time in high school, and man, it got results. Sure, I had to be the drama queen which took a lot of energy and a willingness to make people hate you, but the ability to channel strong...
