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Cassette tapes used to cost $12! http://t.co/qh4zqmTNsS Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) May 28, 2013 (Not my original...
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When I'm rich, someone will give me haircuts while I sleep. (Shut up about the logistics of this, nothing's impossible,...
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More like the GalapaGROSS Islands, am I right? #napalm Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) May 28, 2013
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Found out I was the "loser" of a farting contest with my daughter. (My wife paused her suitcase packing just long...
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Risible. R-I-S-I-B-L-E. She said my efforts to seduce her were risible, so no, I'm not satisfied with this haircut,...
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How to Host a Murder games should have a label on the box that says, "WARNING: This totally counts as LARPing."...
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RT @Maggiemayehaha: I have a habit of taking my dog out in my bathrobe. I'm wasting my life by not being someone's...
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Draw a goth band greeting guests with a soufflé and caption it "Ministry loves company." #ChChing Chris Magyar...
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Ellen Page is going have huge comeback in 2062 as that tiny creepy old woman in horror movies. Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar)...
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"Yo. Kick it." -Vanilla Ice, age 7, playing kick the can. Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) May 26, 2013
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