On This Date In History

December 15 2010

1844: For an entire day in the town of Springfield, Illinois, the customer was always wrong.
1867: Ma and pa went fishin' together, so Bo tied Sis to a tree and she got stung by gnats.
1868: The Poughkeepsie Philharmonic was founded and, eight hours later, disbanded.
1873: Vikings landed on the moon.
1875: A herd of 67 squirrels was seen racing across the town square in Baton Rouge.
1880: Men's whiskers were protected by a commodity tariff by Congress.
1881: The practice of carving wooden spoons in order to impress women was born.
1883: Vikings landed on your mom.
1889: The pilot episode of Two and a Half Men debuted to a Nielsen rating of 1.3.
1899: A dirigible landed in a field full of cow patties, necessitating a refund of ticket prices.
1901: Teddy Roosevelt sang in the bathtub for an hour and a half.
1908: Josh Freeberg, a sickly kid from the Bronx, got 4 RBI and made a nice catch.
1911: War was declared between common sense and uncommon valor.
1914: Vikings landed on Otto von Bismarck's shit list.
1929: The stock market finally got some body work done on its fender.
1930: Nothing, really.
1936: A woman with uncombed hair predicted that Pisces would have a difficult morning.
1938: The state of Oklahoma went on a date with a nice gentleman from Vermont.
1945: The world's tallest man was born in a canoe.
1948: New York City's Times Square was host to a convention of tractors.
1953: The cheese stood alone.
1954: Vikings landed on Malcolm X.
1960: The first teaser poster for AMC's Mad Men ran in the Saturday Evening Post.
1962: Christopher Columbus discovered the moon.
1966: A minor poet, celebrated in his time but now long forgotten, died of diphtheria.
1969: Your parents fucked. Three times.
1978: The crossword puzzle was deemed much too difficult by a majority of letter writers.
1979: Lemonade was a quarter, gas was a dollar a gallon, and a truck stop hand job was free.
1984: An attempt at opening the Ministry of Truth fizzles due to the plans being given away.
1986: Some joker painted Vanna White's limousine hot pink and she was not amused at all.
1989: Broncos fans had pathetic levels of hope.
1990: Mullets were protected by an income tax write-off by Congress.
1994: Vikings landed on Nicole Brown Simpson.
1995: The biggest douchebag in school finally graduated and was never heard from again.
1999: The "Y2K bug" caused panic in the streets of nowhere.
2000: Mexico was recognized as a nation by racists.
2003: French Guyana won the World Cup. Yes it did. Look it up.
2007: Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher were replaced by space aliens who are into social networking.
2009: Jesus, you don't remember what happened last year?
2010: This post.

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