Dogs and debt and duh

I'm in a creative rut, a funk, a runt, a fuck, and I can't seem to jimmy-jam my way out of it. (A jimmy-jam is like when you try to break into your car after you lock your keys inside, only with more Terry Lewis and Janet Jackson.) So with this post I'm not even going to try to do anything high concept or interesting. I'm just going to write whatever's on the top of my fingers.

The dog, as if to rebuff our recent heart-wrenching decision to give her away to a home that's better suited to her particular demonic needs, has been on her best and cutest behavior lately. Granted, this is still grading on her curve, as "lately" has included a sudden suppurating benign tumor on her neck that encrusting her white fur with devil's blood, and yesterday when I came home from work to find she'd spread the trash all over the floor and consumed an entire take-out container of rancid green chili salsa. That was a fun walk. "Don't mind my bleeding poodle, perfect stranger walking by with a well-behaved dog. I know she normally attacks your ankles but today looks like a plague victim as she squats and quivers. Honestly, it's all under control. It is in no way my fault that she has become the pathetic spice cannon you see now, draining her guts of soupy ooze and staring at me with wet eyes. I can't help it if she has no knowledge of cause and effect and suddenly thinks I'm punishing her by making her sphincter catch on fire."

Though we aim to be completely candid about her behavioral problems, obviously none of this particular description will be in the adoption ad. 

I spoke to my ex-wife, who still has a 50% stake in the dog's future, and received the necessary blessing to give the dog away. I mention this just so there's no lingering sense that V and I are assholes, or lazy, or entitled Americans who don't want to deal with inconvenience. As much as I try to put a silly face on it, Cricket really does have severe and possibly incorrigible aggression issues that render her unfit for any household where children might be present, or where she might be left alone to seethe in abandonment fear. My ex agreed that the best thing for her would be a home with an elderly couple who could appreciate her sweet moments and lack of need for much exercise, but not stress her out with frequent houseguests or daily work schedules. A home where she has a constant companion on a regular schedule would be the only thing to cure the beast inside, or at least keep it buried. 

I wish her well. It will be like watching her die to let her go. But there's no way I'm condemning her to the pound without a fight, because she really doesn't deserve to die, even though every trainer and adoption agency in this town might find her unplaceable.

Anyway, that got dark in a hurry. That's just one thing stressing me out lately. Another is the student loans, which have conspired to come off their hiatuses (haitusi?) in quick succession, rapidly doubling our monthly debt burden. The problem with student loans is they can't be discharged with bankruptcy, which would be the normal and obvious path for someone in our situation: debt payments equalling 2/3 of monthly net income. Even if we shot our credit in the ass for seven years (and with it, our car lease and our hopes of buying a home this decade), we would still be crippled by debt. A lot of people keep talking about how the last lame duck Congress accomplished so many radical goals, but this voter won't be impressed until someone wakes up and notices that tuition and student loans are absolutely crippling the generation that's supposed to replace the Baby Boomers, and setting up an economic bomb in the process. I'm not going to go so far as to suggest that student loan debt in excess of a year's wages (measured by the salary year either five or ten years after graduation) should be forgiven (though that would be awesome, and logical). But we should at least be able to cry uncle. All other lenders have to factor in the risk of default. Why not student loan vendors?

There's actually a long and dark answer to that, but if I got into it, this would be a screeching screed. If you're interested in one of the uglier tangles government and the financial industry have created, look up student loan guarantees sometime.

And that's enough for now. I promise I'll get back in the saddle with actual coherent posts soon. So far, this year has been about re-learning how to get out of my own way, which is such a solipsistic phrase it could only be applied by myself to me.