The Death of Polite Society, starring Mobile Phones and Old People

Just posting quickly in response to this wonderful blog post on this wonderful blog (which, though no fault of its own, is on TumblrDevil). I, too, have had the hiss of a confused elder in my ear, commanding me to put away my (entirely silent and unobtrusive) phone.

I was at a school board meeting in the Pajaro Valley, which is to crazy citizens as a flame is to suicidal moths, doing a light bit of reporting on the latest teakettle tempest surrounding the school district's remarkably divisive superintendent. One of the reliably hilarious board members said something nonsensical and twee, so I figured I should text it to my editor, as a way of passing on the "I'm still working at 8 p.m. on a Wednesday night" giggle. This bird-like older woman in a hat and a floral dress skulked up to where I was standing in the corner, tapped me once on the shoulder as one might tap the clapper of a large bell to hear it gong, and whispered vehemently, "Put that away." She paired her admonishment with a robust, narrow-eyed glare that was meant to melt the enamel off my teeth.

I politely whispered back, "No, I'm a reporter, I'm working and I need to report back," only a slight exaggeration of my circumstance. She shook her head twice, once in offended disbelief, the second time in virulent disapproval. "It's giving me cancer," she said, no longer whispering, then she shoved a flyer into my free hand and tromped all the way across the room.

She spent the next hour scanning the attendees for more fatal cell phone usage, glowering in a way that bordered on beautiful. Then, when the floor was opened to public comment, she made a long and impassioned speech about THE CONSPIRACIES THAT WILL DESTROY THE EARTH, was politely but firmly cut off, and left the room, brushing past me with one last harrumph.

And ohmygod I hope she doesn't have cancer now.