RT @mattzollerseitz: RT this if you ever tried to do stop-motion animation inspired by Ray Harryhausen. RIP, the master. Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) May 08, 2013
By the power of Grayskull, I HAVE THE POWER!!!! (Turns into a chihuahua.) ((Leaps over a traffic cone.)) Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) May 08, 2013
Where have you gone Joe DiMaggio? Our nation turns its lonely eyes to you. (Nation's gaze trains on pits of Hell.) ((Nation turns to salt.)) Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) May 08, 2013
WWDLD? (What Would David Lopan Do?) (We already know what ol' Jack Burton would do in a situation like this.) Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) May 08, 2013
RT @jeffdsilva: I wonder how many Gorillas were taught an armpit fart meant "hello" in sign language before a more mature scientist stepped… Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) May 08, 2013
There's a velvet ribbon about my neck. Clasped to it, a red gem that glows. My nightgown is translucent. Everybody at this HEB is staring. Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) June 09, 2013
"Bitch, please." -Ned, the Polite Dog Trainer. Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) June 09, 2013
When is Santa Claus going to come out of the closet? Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) May 07, 2013
Toilet paper magically turns into fresh oxygen, right? DO NOT TELL ME WHAT HAPPENS TO FLUSHED TOILET PAPER. IT CANNOT BE GOOD. Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) June 08, 2013
I'd say the most interesting thing about being a baseball fan is the abject loneliness. Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) June 08, 2013
Good things come to those who ... wait... Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) June 17, 2013
how do people have group sex I can't even get more than two people to agree on pizza toppings ugh Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) May 23, 2013
RT @ahrabik: "Watch me ruin a thing you just said while at the same time ruining a thing you used to love!" -people who quote movies in con… Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) June 30, 2013
I'll never be cool enough for school. (Puts on shades. Rides off on motorcycle.) Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) June 30, 2013
What was the moral of Bulworth? Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) May 23, 2013
You're SORRY? (Penguin kicks a pebble, keeps looking down.) FINE. This is over. OK? It's just over. (Penguin shrugs, waddles to its car.) Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) June 29, 2013
RT @JayUhOh: "Ho ho ho!" "Hey hey hey!" "Hey ho!" "Hey oh, oh eh!" - Santa, Fat Albert, the Lumineers & Tony Danza gettin robbed Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) June 13, 2013
How Stella Got Her Elvis Grbac. Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) June 05, 2013
The Right: "Why are liberals so interested in having the government control my guns, my healthcare, and my life! Also, abortion is evil." Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) June 05, 2013
"Keep Calm and Carrie On" -poster for a future Sex & the City movie. It's pink. Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) May 20, 2013
Ellen Page is going have huge comeback in 2062 as that tiny creepy old woman in horror movies. Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) May 26, 2013
Amazing Grace gets all the publicity for the hard work of Homely Grace. Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) May 30, 2013
"Look, nerd. I'll ask your nerd opinion if I need something to be more nerd. Ok, nerd?" Fuck yeah I'm really leading this staff meeting. Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) April 23, 2013
I guess we were all taught in school that your pledge of allegiance to the flag expired after 24 hours. Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) April 27, 2013
Not nervous about potty training my daughter. The folks at PetSmart have great classes. Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) May 16, 2013