Remember that episode of "This Old House" when they pulled up the wainscoting and found dry rot? Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) July 04, 2013
If you told me 5 years ago I'd spend a holiday hosing down a naked toddler I'd say Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) July 04, 2013
"YOU KIDS STOP PLAYING GRAB-ASS ON MY LAWN!" Buffalo Bills practice squad hangs their heads and gets on their bikes to go home. Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) July 05, 2013
Dr. Pepper is my anti-drug. **FILL MY SUPERSOAKER WITH DR PEPPER AND SQUIRT ALL YOUR COCAINE OFF MY COFFEE TABLE** Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) July 05, 2013
The top story here today in Texas is "college football." Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) July 05, 2013
RT @briangaar: I've been a journalist for 15 years and I can assure you that every TV reporter is an idiot Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) July 06, 2013
AOL was just Facebook without selfies. Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) July 06, 2013
RT @gknauss: Plane crash at SFO. http://t.co/iUCvYdXn35 Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) July 06, 2013
Have you accepted Gretchen Mol as your personal lord and savior? Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) June 07, 2013
I'm holding out for a video service that restricts clips to 2 seconds. Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) June 23, 2013
I'm death blogging this event. Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) June 09, 2013
I keep my friends close, my enemies closer, and my frenemies in a little notebook in my coin purse. Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) June 06, 2013
"People tell me I look like Lisa Kudrow in Clockwatchers but I think I look more like Lisa Kudrow in Lucky Numbers." Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) June 21, 2013
Usually, AV Club posts are only incidentally jokey. This piece, however, is hysterical ... could have been on the actual Onion. Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) June 27, 2013
"Your honor, nostalgia is a powerful emotion." Day 12 of People v. Thirtysomething Who Still Eats Trix. Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) June 10, 2013
RT @curlycomedy: They have crash wedding, they have crash Google, now it is time for them to crash otter space Hello I am rich novice movie… Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) June 10, 2013
RT @normanwilkerson: a guidance councilor who just tells every student to become a guidance councilor. Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) June 30, 2013
MARCO Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) June 11, 2013
Thou Shalt Not Wear Leather Shirts Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) June 11, 2013
Jack Bauer slams the perp against wall and grabs his neck. "Whose line is it anyway?" he screams. "WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?" Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) June 11, 2013
I think all our communication information should public because I want Superman to be able to find me if I'm falling off a building. Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) June 11, 2013
The workers at The Daily Planet should revolt because Lois Lane and Jimmy Olsen get way better catastrophic health insurance. Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) June 12, 2013
It takes huge balls to knock over huge bowling pins. Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) June 12, 2013
On this date in 1993: Alanis decides to stop sounding like Joan Jett Paula Abdul and start sounding like Joan Jett Ani DiFranco. Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) June 12, 2013
"This is a gross miscarriage of justice!" -Ozmondo, the Inappropriate Abortion Superhero Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) June 13, 2013