Never beat a dead horse in the mouth. Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) March 11, 2013
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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because the chicken thinks it's funny how the road sputters and turns...
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Charlotte climbed out of her crib today, fell on her head. Or bumped her head on the way out; it's hard to know...
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Hipster haters: "If I keep making jokes, everyone will wear boring clothes again and the '90s will return!" Chris...
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Batman kills the Joker. Batman kills the Penguin. Batman kills Mr. Freeze. Batman kills the Riddler. Batman kills...
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Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, man you're good at this. Fool me four...
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Charlotte fell out of her crib and onto her head while I was at SXSW. She's okay. I'm not. Looking for a panel...
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Sorry, James Franco, I don't "do" celebrity sightings. (This is so awkward right now for James Franco.) Chris Magyar...
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"that made-up word was new to me so I went to pray on it (that’s how I refer to using Google)" @mimismartypants...
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"Not if I have anything to say about it!!" *pushes backpack off desk* *pulls out pencil box* *foot smashes protractor*...
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