Autism is the only malady that can be described with a spectrum, because no lady wants to hear where you are on...
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Kid: "Wall!" Me: "Yep. That's the wall." Kid: "Bonk head." Me: "What?" Kid: "Bonk head wall ouch. Fun! Whee!" Me:...
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If you want your car crash to have witnesses, have it in front of Franklin BBQ. Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) May...
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"After a certain age, the most charitable assumption you can make about young people is that they're all on drugs."...
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Congratulations to everyone who finds it easy to write jokes. Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) May 08, 2013
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Woo-hoo day off work! (Mows lawn, does laundry, mops floors, hangs shelf, irons pants, cleans toilets, takes out...
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Monday, May 13, 8 pm. Watch an all-star lineup of hilarious comics and then me.
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Monday's my night. It has one fewer person. "Lucky you, Magyar!" No, you don't know these people. Stacked night,...
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The best way to meet girls is to see them standing around places and go up and talk to them. Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar)...
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RT @mattzollerseitz: RT this if you ever tried to do stop-motion animation inspired by Ray Harryhausen. RIP, the...
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