Grizzly bear walks into a bar. Bartender says, "We don't serve bears here." Three gay guys leave. <--Go ahead,...
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"Feeling pretty good. I recently lost 200 pounds..." polite applause "when I divorced my fat wife." <--You can...
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"I like to wait until an event has already started, then decline it." -Tucker Max Explains Facebook
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Twitter. #AlternativesToOpenMics Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) May 26, 2013
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We both know this first date isn't going to lead to a second date anyway. #AlternativesToOpenMics Chris Magyar...
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If you're wearing firefighter clothes and holding a bullhorn, you can interrupt any piano recital you want. #AlternativesToOpenMics...
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You're the Best Man? You're in luck! #AlternativesToOpenMics Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) May 26, 2013
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Bus drivers control when the bus stops and also a little microphone. Bus companies are usually hiring. #AlternativesToOpenMics...
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The guy in the next stall is very weirded out by your talking, but he also really needs to finish that poop. #AlternativesToOpenMics...
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Some poisons take hours to kill. A well-placed suicide means everyone's there to hear your last words. #AlternativesToOpenMics...
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