Had a sex dream with Oprah then woke up and jotted a reminder note that just said "personal growth." Chris Magyar...
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"What does THIS button do?" NO DON'T PUSH THAT *click* a lamp turns on. Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) May 02, 2...
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The greatest love of all is happening to me again. #FullMoon Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) May 02, 2013
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You can keep "under God" if you agree to worry about "and justice for all" just as much.
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*punches me in the neck* OW MY BRACHIAL TUBE *punches me in the glasses* Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) May 02,...
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Oscar the Grouch. Snuffleupagus the Lovelorn. Kermit the Dyslexic. Elmo the Incorrigible. Gonzo the Dense. Chris...
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Gall bladder. Aghast colon. Shrug intestine. Mope liver. Smirk sphincter. Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) May 02,...
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Huggies, they're called, and they wrap around baby crotches. Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) May 02, 2013
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Don't nickname it the Grab Bag. Don't nickname it the Sand Trap. Don't nickname it The Tendon. Don't nickname it...
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Fat man's jean shorts looking like thong longs. Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) May 02, 2013
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