The human being adjective temperature scale: Hot = good. Warm = good. Cool = good. Cold = bad. Frigid = bad. Ice...
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"This vegetable tastes gross" face is still the most expressive face I've ever made. Sorry, victims of injustice....
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"GET DOWN ON THE DANCE FLOOR!" -Disco burglar. He sweats behind his ski mask. Where does the disco keep its vault?...
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It's Adam and Eve, not Adam 'n' Eve. Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) March 26, 2013
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TO DO: Wash car. TO DON'T: Wash Carl. Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) March 26, 2013
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Come on, everybody. Only five more red equals signs until Justice Scalia changes his mind.
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Every time I'm about to tweet something insensitive about slavery, I ask myself, WWWWWWD? (What Would Walt Whitman's...
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I bet polywogs are moody. Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) March 26, 2013
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My daughter taught me to always say goodnight to your genitals. Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) March 26, 2013
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