"that made-up word was new to me so I went to pray on it (that’s how I refer to using Google)" @mimismartypants wins. http://t.co/bAm46TNsR1 Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) March 10, 2013 diplomatic immunity I need an adult training bra. There are many weekend...
Vine: finally the appropriate format for porn. #again #again #again #done Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) March 09, 2013
I'm trying hard not to be drunk. Also: trying hard not to be an aardvark. Also: trying hard not to tweet. #ThereIsNoTry #IAmAnAardvark Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) April 28, 2013
Hold on, nevermind, just remembered: http://t.co/DCBHVuAnrT Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) April 19, 2013 A variety of conspiracy theories have been proposed regarding the Oklahoma City bombing . These theories reject all or part of the official government...
Pope says something I agree with: http://t.co/dGPEFwvLhd Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) May 22, 2013 "This 'closing off' that imagines that those outside, everyone, cannot do good is a wall that leads to war and also to what some people throughout history...
Now that I'm a dad, I MUST SPEND FATHER'S DAY WATCHING JOHN WAYNE MOVIES I AM THE BORG. #not #CaryGrantPlease Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) June 11, 2013
Luxury visors: http://t.co/waJfOsHTYd Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) June 10, 2013
Frolf: the "game" in which 3/4 of the rules are optional, because DON'T HURT MY FRAGILE FEELINGS. http://t.co/qHIFZs3Gax Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) June 19, 2013
Guys, I'm trying really hard not to brag, but my kid totally said "I miss you dad" as I went to work this morning. #FailingestParentInAustin Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) April 29, 2013
Everyone has an aunt or uncle they never call. That first phone call is bound to last at least five minutes. #AlternativesToOpenMics Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) May 26, 2013
You don't have to be Catholic to do into a confessional, and the priest has to listen to whatever you say. #AlternativesToOpenMics Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) May 26, 2013
So, you can make a living just regurgitating vague ideas at high speed, @JasonSilva? #sxsw Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) March 09, 2013
Columbus, Ohio, has a professional hockey team. #NewsOfTheWeird Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) April 18, 2013
Ever have so much wine that you wake up the next day feeling strong and alert? #breakthrough Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) April 24, 2013
Lots of pregnant women at this BBQ joint. #TheyCraveBlood Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) April 20, 2013
Why is a man sitting on the carpet on the corner of this living room ranting about grocery lists? #Aviary Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) April 21, 2013
Every cloud has a silver lining oh god it's raining metal #guitarlick Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) April 16, 2013
EN GARDE! *swoosh swoosh slice swish stabby stabby swoosh clank grunt clankclankclank swoosh* Ha-HA! #MostFunWayToSkinACat Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) April 08, 2013
All prejudiced people are stupid. #InfiniteRecursion Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) April 01, 2013
I was 10 when my dad gave me the birds and the bees talk. I had no idea that bees were such dicks to birds. #TeamBird Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) May 31, 2013
More like the GalapaGROSS Islands, am I right? #napalm Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) May 28, 2013
The guy in the next stall is very weirded out by your talking, but he also really needs to finish that poop. #AlternativesToOpenMics Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) May 26, 2013
You're the Best Man? You're in luck! #AlternativesToOpenMics Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) May 26, 2013
"Hey Schotzy! Hey Schotzy! Heeeeey Schotzy!" Schotzy: WHAT? #SchotzyHasTheBestMadFace Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) May 07, 2013
It takes this many tongue depressors to circumnavigate the globe at the Tropic of Capricorn. #NyquilJeopardy Chris Magyar (@chrisjmagyar) May 06, 2013
